If you want people to get to know the real you, be yourself. Sounds simple and easy, doesn't it? It's also a little risky in the short run. The safety in being what others think you should be is if they reject you, they aren't rejecting you personally because you were't being authentic in the first place. You were not being yourself.
The downside (a big downside) is that if you aren't being "real" how can you trust the relationship since it's based on dishonesty? Plus when you decide to let the real you come out, it's confusing. Who are you anyway? How will others be able to trust you?
As a teen I was a bit of a cameleon. I was different with different groups of people. It seemed easy, I just adapted to whomever I was with. At one point I had to face my facades. I was dating someone who was not from my high school and one night we got together with some of my high school friends. I was stuck, because I was different with my friends than I was with my boyfriend at the time and I wasn't sure how to be. He became frustrated and confronted me on the way home saying he really didn't know who I was. It really made me think because I really didn't know who I was either!!
That was the beginning of my journey of personal growth. I made a decision to find my true self and be as authentic and real as I could with those around me. It was a bit scarey, but it has certainly paid off. The people in my life know me, the real me, and I don't have to pretend.
My request for you-be as authentic and "real" as possible in all your relationhips. If you get rejected, it wasn't meant to be in the first place and if it works, you can trust that the relationship is real and you don't have to pretend.
This Is Your Life....Make It What You Want!
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I think a lot of people are like this!
ReplyDeleteI have spent most of my life being a chameleon. It has been until recently that I have started feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I still fall back into those old patterns at times tho - it's a growing experience!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous. We are "conditioned" to be cameleons out of fear of rejection.
ReplyDeleteKaren Rosencrance
This is great advice. I am going to pass it on to my beautiful college student daughter, too. She struggles with letting someone get to know her more intimately and it's kept her from finding a romantic relationship in her life.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting but if you are able to find common areas of belief or interest with other people maybe the real you is a chameleon.
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