What's your Legacy?

My Aunt Rosemary, age 85, died last night in her sleep. She was a vibrant, active and healthy woman who loved to spend time with family, play cards, garden, cook and help others. She was one of the most giving people I have ever met.

My aunt had experienced much loss in her life. Her husband died of a heart attack when her youngest of 8 children (7 were boys) was only 5 years old. Her oldest, the only girl, was 18. My aunt raised those kids on her husband's social security, earnings from doing other people's laundry and waitressing. She lost a son at age 18 in a mining accident, a son-in-law in a car accident during a snowstorm, a son to cancer, and a grandson who had fallen asleep at the wheel. Her only daughter lives next door and is wheelchair bound due to MS.

Even with all the loss and struggles in her life, Aunt Rosemary was always cheerful, giving a hug and a kiss whenever we saw her. She never acted like a victim and never felt sorry for herself. She had many grandchildren and great-grandchildren and she was so proud of them. I think all her children lived within an hour from her, she loved spending time with them and they took very good care of her, building her a new house, and keeping an eye on her.

My aunt left a legacy of love, strength, perseverence and gratitude, even in the face of adversity, loss and pain. While her death had no warning, it was gentle and I am grateful for that.

What if you were to die in your sleep tonight-what would your legacy be? How do you think you'd be remembered? How would you like to be remembered? Do those two answers match? We don't have much control over how we die, but we do have control over how we live.

You have the power to live in a way that you can be proud of, no matter what your circumstances. You have the opportunity to live the legacy you would like to leave when you are no longer of this world. My hope is that you take advantage of that opportunity.

This is your life.....Make it what you want!

There goes the Judge

"If you judge people,you have no time to love them."
-- Mother Teresa

It's impossible not to admire Mother Teresa. She was the ultimate practitioner of unconditional love. She took care of all people-young, old, sick and dying without judgment or scorn.

How comforting it must have been as the recipient of such unconditional love.
What if people, women in particular, would decide to turn that unconditional love on themselves? What if you let go of the judgments toward your own behaviors, deficiencies and humanness and left space for a more loving and accepting relationship with yourself?
What if you gave yourself credit for what you are vs. what you are not?

It's amazing how a relationship changes when judgments are set aside. Letting go of judgment allows barriers to fall leaving more room for love and connectedness. According to Mother Theresa, there is not room for both.

How many other judgments do we hang on to when in reality, we simply don't understand what it's like to be in that person's shoes? What would our response be if we approached them from a place of love vs. judgment?

Here's my challenge for you:

• Who have you distanced yourself from because of some judgment you may have about their behavior or situation?
• How much do you really truly understand about their situation?
• What would happen if you set aside that judgment and really tried to understand their perspective?
• What if you approached that person with love and support rather than judgment?
• How could the relationship be different?

If you decide to take on that challenge, let me know. I'd love to support you and hear some feedback on the experience.

This Is Your Life....Make It What You Want!

This is your Life...Make it what you want!

My husband and I were sitting outside a coffee shop this morning as we do many mornings after a workout at the YMCA and Brett made an interesting observation. The table next to ours was surrounded by several older, retired women chatting and laughing over their own cups of coffee and soaking up the lovely morning sun here in Madison, WI.

Brett wondered if we, too, were retired since we often hang out with so many other retired folks at Victor Allen's, our favorite coffee shop. It just so happens that we seem to have a semi-retired lifestyle that earns enough money to pay our mortgage, health insurance and support our household.

How do we do it? We are both doing what we love! We are helping others through my life coaching business and Brett's environmental consulting; we are tending to our mutual need for flexibility and freedom in our lives; and we can arrange our work around our life rather than having to arrange our life around our work. If this is retirement, I want to be in this forever!! (And actually, we might have to be, given the state of our investments!)

My challenge-Figure out what is really important to you, then think of ways to include those things in your life. It may not match the mainstream, it may not make you a million dollars, get you the grandest house or car, but it will be serving you and your values.......and you can't put a dollar amount on that!!

We all need to be honoring our values and our contribution to the world. And your contribution is as unique as you. Good luck and remember, This is your life.....make it what you want!!